Beautiful by Mercy Me

Chemo May NOT Be Out of the Picture

Met with the Oncologist this morning, which was the first time since before surgery.  Thought I would hear something about taking Tomoxafin, which is an anti-hormone drug, thereby inhibiting the growth of cancer cells fed by estrogen.  To my surprise, Dr Tracy started talking about new technology that can detect microscopic pre-cancerous cells in the lymph nodes.  These were found in my sentinel lymph node.  She mentioned a new test that can determine whether these cells are high, medium or low risk for becoming cancerous.  We decided to have this test done and will find out in another two weeks where these cells fall in the risk category.  If they come back high risk, Dr Tracy will recommend a course of chemo: four rounds, three weeks apart.  If the results come back low risk, then chemo has no evidence of making any impact, so it will not be recommended.

This was a surprise for me.  Not what I was expecting. 

Please pray the results will return "low-risk".

Having recovered so well in only 5 weeks since surgery (a relatively traumatizing experience), I'm realizing that I will be okay and that I will have some normalcy in terms of feeling healthy again.  I feel so good now.  Although there may still be some difficulty before we are finished with this process, I feel like going through the initial trauma of the mastectomy psychologically was the hardest part, and that now I know what I'm facing in terms of any more surgery and recovery.  Chemo will be another big challenge, but we don't know yet, if that's part of the journey.

It's an interesting thing to be on this side of cancer and surgery.  There is so much more to who we are than this physical vessel that is our earthly abode.  I am able to see others who are physically disabled with new eyes, eyes that see past the disfigurement and into someone who is so much more.  It is an awareness that I wouldn't have understood without my own disfigurement.  I walk past the young men at the Naval Hospital who have been disfigurement by combat and am completely comfortable with looking them in the eye and smiling, looking for an opportunity to communicate acceptance and love and hope.  It is an interesting new world to have entered.

One Month Past Surgery

One month ago today was my surgery to remove my left breast and sentinel lymph node.

I'm quite amazed at how good I feel.  Not quite 100%, but pretty darn good.  I actually taught one of my classes today.  It felt good.  There was a good connection with the students.

The surgery site is healing very well.  Still a few tender spots, but I can actually sleep on my stomach!  For you other stomach sleepers, you know how wonderful that is.

The only real issue is tightness in my pectoral muscle.  I have good range of motion in the arm, but the muscle across my chest can get tight and stay that way for several hours if not the rest of the day.  I called my nurse navigator and the surgeon recommended physical therapy.  That should help.

I am looking forward to Monday when I meet with my oncologist and plastic surgeon.  I assume the oncologist will discuss the possibilities of reaccurance in the right breast and make some recommendations in light of that.

Then we will meet with the plastic surgeon to discuss reconstruction.

It has been a wonderful 2 weeks since the news of the clear sentinal node.  What a relief to know that the cancer hadn't spread and I will not need to travel the chemo or radiation path.

Again, I am so profoundly grateful for all the love, prayers, encouragement and help that have been showered over me.