Four weeks of recovery

I am finally starting to get my stamina back, one day at a time.  Although I was told that the recovery from this surgery would be 6 weeks, it has been difficult to adjust.

I have received many books, journals and articles regarding breast cancer experiences.  They have all been informative, supportive and encouraging.  I want to recommend a wonderful book called Uplift: Secrets from the Sisterhood of Breast Cancer Survivors by Barbara Delinsky (Thanks, Yuki.).  It is a compilation of letters written by breast cancer survivors and those close to them.  Some of the chapters are titled as follows:  On Diagnosis: First Things First; Losing a Breast:  Practical and Emotional; Radiation: Soaking Up the Rays; Chemo and Hair:  Mane Matters; Humor:  You Gotta Laugh; Men: By, For and About; Fast Forward:  Five Years Later.  It was wonderful to read of the many different decisions that have been made on treatment and the positive experiences from all the various paths.  Reading this book helped me come to a comfortable decision for me and my life.

Even though the first mastectomy and pathology indicated that I had no cancer cells that had spread, I understood that there would be a higher risk of developing cancer in the other breast.  As I thought about it, I felt that the concern and preoccupation of that risk would be an underlying stress for me for the rest of my life, continuing to have mammograms and biopsies due to the cystic nature of the remaining breast.  I received that testimony from several women who had a mastectomy many years before saying that if they could go back and do it again, they would have had a bilateral mastectomy and encouraged me to go ahead.  It made sense to me.

More soon . . .

2nd Surgery - Right Mastectomy and Reconstruction

Wow, four months since my last post.

After healing so quickly from the left mastectomy, and negative results back from tests on the lymph nodes, I got back into the swing of things and on with life.  I am on Tamaxofin for the next 5 years, which will inhibit the ability of any pre-cancer cells from "turning on." 

Here we are again, recovering from my second mastectomy and the beginning of the reconstruction process, so, back to my blog.

I write this only for those interested in the details of this process.  I know there is so much that I have learned about breast cancer and the many ways of treating it that I want to be a voice for information to those who might benefit from it.

I have done much reading, listening, consulting, thinking and praying regarding the options.  One thing I have come to understand is that this is a VERY personal decision.  There is not one right way to go.

I still get tired quickly, so I will need to cut this short.  But I wanted to post something here and ask you to continue to come back as I share about my decisions and experiences.

May Love saturate your life,
Mila

Low Risk Results - NO CHEMO

My apologies.  I have attempted to post the results from the oncotype test several times, but something ended up keeping me from being successful.  One day our electricity was out for 11 hours!

So on to the important news.

The results of the oncotyping came back "low risk"  meaning that the pre-cancer cells were determined to be at low risk of developing into cancer.  Therefore, according to the research trials, there is no significant effect of chemo on these low risk cells.  So, no chemo.

I have been prescribed Tamoxifen for the next five years which will inhibit cancer cell growth due to estrogen.

I am very relieved and looking forward to a wonderful Christmas!  This is the best gift I could get.

In early spring I will be talking with the surgeon about the next steps and will keep you posted.

God bless you all and may your Christmas season be full of life and peace.

Marty's Mom reminded me of this wonderful poem.  Thanks, Jo.

We never know how high we are
Till we are asked to rise
And then if we are true to plan
Our statures touch the skies—

The Heroism we recite
Would be a normal thing
Did not ourselves the Cubits warp
For fear to be a King—
~Emily Dickinson

Beautiful by Mercy Me

Chemo May NOT Be Out of the Picture

Met with the Oncologist this morning, which was the first time since before surgery.  Thought I would hear something about taking Tomoxafin, which is an anti-hormone drug, thereby inhibiting the growth of cancer cells fed by estrogen.  To my surprise, Dr Tracy started talking about new technology that can detect microscopic pre-cancerous cells in the lymph nodes.  These were found in my sentinel lymph node.  She mentioned a new test that can determine whether these cells are high, medium or low risk for becoming cancerous.  We decided to have this test done and will find out in another two weeks where these cells fall in the risk category.  If they come back high risk, Dr Tracy will recommend a course of chemo: four rounds, three weeks apart.  If the results come back low risk, then chemo has no evidence of making any impact, so it will not be recommended.

This was a surprise for me.  Not what I was expecting. 

Please pray the results will return "low-risk".

Having recovered so well in only 5 weeks since surgery (a relatively traumatizing experience), I'm realizing that I will be okay and that I will have some normalcy in terms of feeling healthy again.  I feel so good now.  Although there may still be some difficulty before we are finished with this process, I feel like going through the initial trauma of the mastectomy psychologically was the hardest part, and that now I know what I'm facing in terms of any more surgery and recovery.  Chemo will be another big challenge, but we don't know yet, if that's part of the journey.

It's an interesting thing to be on this side of cancer and surgery.  There is so much more to who we are than this physical vessel that is our earthly abode.  I am able to see others who are physically disabled with new eyes, eyes that see past the disfigurement and into someone who is so much more.  It is an awareness that I wouldn't have understood without my own disfigurement.  I walk past the young men at the Naval Hospital who have been disfigurement by combat and am completely comfortable with looking them in the eye and smiling, looking for an opportunity to communicate acceptance and love and hope.  It is an interesting new world to have entered.

One Month Past Surgery

One month ago today was my surgery to remove my left breast and sentinel lymph node.

I'm quite amazed at how good I feel.  Not quite 100%, but pretty darn good.  I actually taught one of my classes today.  It felt good.  There was a good connection with the students.

The surgery site is healing very well.  Still a few tender spots, but I can actually sleep on my stomach!  For you other stomach sleepers, you know how wonderful that is.

The only real issue is tightness in my pectoral muscle.  I have good range of motion in the arm, but the muscle across my chest can get tight and stay that way for several hours if not the rest of the day.  I called my nurse navigator and the surgeon recommended physical therapy.  That should help.

I am looking forward to Monday when I meet with my oncologist and plastic surgeon.  I assume the oncologist will discuss the possibilities of reaccurance in the right breast and make some recommendations in light of that.

Then we will meet with the plastic surgeon to discuss reconstruction.

It has been a wonderful 2 weeks since the news of the clear sentinal node.  What a relief to know that the cancer hadn't spread and I will not need to travel the chemo or radiation path.

Again, I am so profoundly grateful for all the love, prayers, encouragement and help that have been showered over me. 

Sentinel Node Clear

Wanted to pass on the wonderful news:  The sentinel node biopsy came back clear.

I haven't cried since before my surgery two weeks ago.  I've just been resting and mending. 

So, today, my post op exam went well.  The surgeon was very pleased with the results and they were able to remove the drain.  Now I feel like I can really heal.  The lab still hadn't posted the results from the pathology at that point, so the doc said they should know by Wednesday and I would get a call.  Then he reconsidered and asked his intern to visit the lab and see if he could strong-arm them into giving us the results.  I'm sorry, but I did like that idea.  We have all been expecting the results today.  Marty and I said we would like to wait and see what the intern could find out.

We went out to the waiting room and within 15 minutes the intern had returned with a smile on his face saying that the pathology came back clear.  Very unexpectedly, tears started forming in my eyes.  I'm not sure why it surprised me, but it did.  It was such a relief.  Dr. Soballe came by and "shooed" us off to the Plastics clinic to make an appointment for reconstruction.  As we were walking down the hallway, I was overcome with fatigue.  I suddenly wanted to take a nap!  I guess there had been the underlying stress of not knowing.  I know I will sleep well tonight.

We still have more decisions to make for how to handle the higher risk of cancer showing up in the other breast, and how to proceed with that and reconstruction or not.  So please continue to keep me in your prayers for those decisions.  I will be gathering information and reading up on all this, but now can rest and relax until my next appointment November 15.

I am so relieved that I do not have to head down the path of chemo and/or radiation.  I am so grateful to all of you for your support and prayers.  Those who sent me books and journals, please know that they have been extremely helpful and comforting.  I have been able to share in the thoughts and experiences of others who have gone before me, and feel much more confident that I am making well-informed decisions.

My mind is still on those sisters I know who are continuing to fight a more difficult battle than mine.  I love you and am praying for you, too.