Appointment with Plastic Surgeon

Interesting morning.  As Marty and I are heading down the hallway to the Plastics and Wound Care Clinic, I'm thinking to myself, "I am actually making a choice to remove a life-giving part of my body, part of my self, part of what makes me a women, a mother, a lover."  Intellectually, I know, that there is something in there, also, that would kill me, that I am an eternal being, confined for the moment in this earthly shell, and that, as Marty said to me, "You are so much more than your body."  I'm glad I have a few weeks to come to terms with this choice.  This is harder than I ever imagined.

Dr. Salt, my plastic surgeon, agrees with Dr. Soballe's recommendation to do a mastectomy of the left breast, remove the sentinel lymph node and biopsy it, then go from there with the results of the biospy, and that will leave us with many options for reconstruction.  I feel confident about that decision.

Thank you, Marty, for your loyalty, strength and devotion to me.  You are my faithful warrior and friend.

Thank you, Hannah, for being an amazing first responder.  You are a true healer.

Thank you, Mom, for showing what it looks like to be a strong women, and for being available and ready to care for me, still.

Thank you, Dad, for being my life-long protector and greatest advocate.

Thank you, my friends and prayer-warriors.  No matter where you are in this world,  I need you more than ever.

Reading can be a great source of hope, insight, knowledge, laughter, and encouragement.  This is what I read this morning: 

When we choose to have a grateful heart in not-so-great circumstances--then the peace of God comes and takes us into "protective custody." It stands guard at the door of our heart, transcending, surpassing, and confounding our own human understanding, bringing us peace. ~Joanna Weaver

Surgery is Set

Just returned from the appointment with my surgeon.  With a reputation of being very conservative, he recommends a mastectomy of the left and possibly of the right also.  There are considerations on both extremes that I have to decide between.  Surgery is set for October 12.

Will do the sentinel biopsy during surgery.  If positive, that will determine radiation and/or chemo.  Pray for a negative biopsy.

Emotionally drained.

Love to you all.

September 20, 2010

Thanks for your emails.  I've had an emotional week and lots of school activities where I've had to get myself squared away and just go.  Thankfully, this week has NO class days, and we are home to do school and get ready for my surgery whenever that gets scheduled.  I find I'm doing a lot of nesting.

So, last week I got the results back from the genetic testing.  The BRCA1 and BRCA2 were both NEGATIVE!  We are all very thankful.  That just means that the girls are in the probability of the general population for getting breast cancer.  No genetic tendency and below 8.6 percent for family history.

The two biopsies came back the same, infiltrating lobular carcinoma.  So, that means more than just the spot I found.

Today, we meet with the surgeon for his recommendation.  I really have no idea what that will be yet.

Last Thursday, I met with the plastic surgeon, who laid out all those possibilities.  I feel quite overwhelmed.  Have no idea how to make a decision on which way to go yet.  I pray I will just know when it's time, that the Spirit with give me peace.

I wish I felt more brave.  I really don't want to do this . . .  see now I'm crying again.  But, that's okay.  It's just how it works.

Love you, my family and friends, and knowing you're there praying for and thinking of me is HUGE.