My apologies. I have attempted to post the results from the oncotype test several times, but something ended up keeping me from being successful. One day our electricity was out for 11 hours!
So on to the important news.
The results of the oncotyping came back "low risk" meaning that the pre-cancer cells were determined to be at low risk of developing into cancer. Therefore, according to the research trials, there is no significant effect of chemo on these low risk cells. So, no chemo.
I have been prescribed Tamoxifen for the next five years which will inhibit cancer cell growth due to estrogen.
I am very relieved and looking forward to a wonderful Christmas! This is the best gift I could get.
In early spring I will be talking with the surgeon about the next steps and will keep you posted.
God bless you all and may your Christmas season be full of life and peace.
Marty's Mom reminded me of this wonderful poem. Thanks, Jo.
We never know how high we are
Till we are asked to rise
And then if we are true to plan
Our statures touch the skies—
The Heroism we recite
Would be a normal thing
Did not ourselves the Cubits warp
For fear to be a King—
~Emily Dickinson
Monday, December 6, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
Chemo May NOT Be Out of the Picture
Met with the Oncologist this morning, which was the first time since before surgery. Thought I would hear something about taking Tomoxafin, which is an anti-hormone drug, thereby inhibiting the growth of cancer cells fed by estrogen. To my surprise, Dr Tracy started talking about new technology that can detect microscopic pre-cancerous cells in the lymph nodes. These were found in my sentinel lymph node. She mentioned a new test that can determine whether these cells are high, medium or low risk for becoming cancerous. We decided to have this test done and will find out in another two weeks where these cells fall in the risk category. If they come back high risk, Dr Tracy will recommend a course of chemo: four rounds, three weeks apart. If the results come back low risk, then chemo has no evidence of making any impact, so it will not be recommended.
This was a surprise for me. Not what I was expecting.
Please pray the results will return "low-risk".
Having recovered so well in only 5 weeks since surgery (a relatively traumatizing experience), I'm realizing that I will be okay and that I will have some normalcy in terms of feeling healthy again. I feel so good now. Although there may still be some difficulty before we are finished with this process, I feel like going through the initial trauma of the mastectomy psychologically was the hardest part, and that now I know what I'm facing in terms of any more surgery and recovery. Chemo will be another big challenge, but we don't know yet, if that's part of the journey.
It's an interesting thing to be on this side of cancer and surgery. There is so much more to who we are than this physical vessel that is our earthly abode. I am able to see others who are physically disabled with new eyes, eyes that see past the disfigurement and into someone who is so much more. It is an awareness that I wouldn't have understood without my own disfigurement. I walk past the young men at the Naval Hospital who have been disfigurement by combat and am completely comfortable with looking them in the eye and smiling, looking for an opportunity to communicate acceptance and love and hope. It is an interesting new world to have entered.
This was a surprise for me. Not what I was expecting.
Please pray the results will return "low-risk".
Having recovered so well in only 5 weeks since surgery (a relatively traumatizing experience), I'm realizing that I will be okay and that I will have some normalcy in terms of feeling healthy again. I feel so good now. Although there may still be some difficulty before we are finished with this process, I feel like going through the initial trauma of the mastectomy psychologically was the hardest part, and that now I know what I'm facing in terms of any more surgery and recovery. Chemo will be another big challenge, but we don't know yet, if that's part of the journey.
It's an interesting thing to be on this side of cancer and surgery. There is so much more to who we are than this physical vessel that is our earthly abode. I am able to see others who are physically disabled with new eyes, eyes that see past the disfigurement and into someone who is so much more. It is an awareness that I wouldn't have understood without my own disfigurement. I walk past the young men at the Naval Hospital who have been disfigurement by combat and am completely comfortable with looking them in the eye and smiling, looking for an opportunity to communicate acceptance and love and hope. It is an interesting new world to have entered.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
One Month Past Surgery
One month ago today was my surgery to remove my left breast and sentinel lymph node.
I'm quite amazed at how good I feel. Not quite 100%, but pretty darn good. I actually taught one of my classes today. It felt good. There was a good connection with the students.
The surgery site is healing very well. Still a few tender spots, but I can actually sleep on my stomach! For you other stomach sleepers, you know how wonderful that is.
The only real issue is tightness in my pectoral muscle. I have good range of motion in the arm, but the muscle across my chest can get tight and stay that way for several hours if not the rest of the day. I called my nurse navigator and the surgeon recommended physical therapy. That should help.
I am looking forward to Monday when I meet with my oncologist and plastic surgeon. I assume the oncologist will discuss the possibilities of reaccurance in the right breast and make some recommendations in light of that.
Then we will meet with the plastic surgeon to discuss reconstruction.
It has been a wonderful 2 weeks since the news of the clear sentinal node. What a relief to know that the cancer hadn't spread and I will not need to travel the chemo or radiation path.
Again, I am so profoundly grateful for all the love, prayers, encouragement and help that have been showered over me.
I'm quite amazed at how good I feel. Not quite 100%, but pretty darn good. I actually taught one of my classes today. It felt good. There was a good connection with the students.
The surgery site is healing very well. Still a few tender spots, but I can actually sleep on my stomach! For you other stomach sleepers, you know how wonderful that is.
The only real issue is tightness in my pectoral muscle. I have good range of motion in the arm, but the muscle across my chest can get tight and stay that way for several hours if not the rest of the day. I called my nurse navigator and the surgeon recommended physical therapy. That should help.
I am looking forward to Monday when I meet with my oncologist and plastic surgeon. I assume the oncologist will discuss the possibilities of reaccurance in the right breast and make some recommendations in light of that.
Then we will meet with the plastic surgeon to discuss reconstruction.
It has been a wonderful 2 weeks since the news of the clear sentinal node. What a relief to know that the cancer hadn't spread and I will not need to travel the chemo or radiation path.
Again, I am so profoundly grateful for all the love, prayers, encouragement and help that have been showered over me.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Sentinel Node Clear
Wanted to pass on the wonderful news: The sentinel node biopsy came back clear.
I haven't cried since before my surgery two weeks ago. I've just been resting and mending.
So, today, my post op exam went well. The surgeon was very pleased with the results and they were able to remove the drain. Now I feel like I can really heal. The lab still hadn't posted the results from the pathology at that point, so the doc said they should know by Wednesday and I would get a call. Then he reconsidered and asked his intern to visit the lab and see if he could strong-arm them into giving us the results. I'm sorry, but I did like that idea. We have all been expecting the results today. Marty and I said we would like to wait and see what the intern could find out.
We went out to the waiting room and within 15 minutes the intern had returned with a smile on his face saying that the pathology came back clear. Very unexpectedly, tears started forming in my eyes. I'm not sure why it surprised me, but it did. It was such a relief. Dr. Soballe came by and "shooed" us off to the Plastics clinic to make an appointment for reconstruction. As we were walking down the hallway, I was overcome with fatigue. I suddenly wanted to take a nap! I guess there had been the underlying stress of not knowing. I know I will sleep well tonight.
We still have more decisions to make for how to handle the higher risk of cancer showing up in the other breast, and how to proceed with that and reconstruction or not. So please continue to keep me in your prayers for those decisions. I will be gathering information and reading up on all this, but now can rest and relax until my next appointment November 15.
I am so relieved that I do not have to head down the path of chemo and/or radiation. I am so grateful to all of you for your support and prayers. Those who sent me books and journals, please know that they have been extremely helpful and comforting. I have been able to share in the thoughts and experiences of others who have gone before me, and feel much more confident that I am making well-informed decisions.
My mind is still on those sisters I know who are continuing to fight a more difficult battle than mine. I love you and am praying for you, too.
I haven't cried since before my surgery two weeks ago. I've just been resting and mending.
So, today, my post op exam went well. The surgeon was very pleased with the results and they were able to remove the drain. Now I feel like I can really heal. The lab still hadn't posted the results from the pathology at that point, so the doc said they should know by Wednesday and I would get a call. Then he reconsidered and asked his intern to visit the lab and see if he could strong-arm them into giving us the results. I'm sorry, but I did like that idea. We have all been expecting the results today. Marty and I said we would like to wait and see what the intern could find out.
We went out to the waiting room and within 15 minutes the intern had returned with a smile on his face saying that the pathology came back clear. Very unexpectedly, tears started forming in my eyes. I'm not sure why it surprised me, but it did. It was such a relief. Dr. Soballe came by and "shooed" us off to the Plastics clinic to make an appointment for reconstruction. As we were walking down the hallway, I was overcome with fatigue. I suddenly wanted to take a nap! I guess there had been the underlying stress of not knowing. I know I will sleep well tonight.
We still have more decisions to make for how to handle the higher risk of cancer showing up in the other breast, and how to proceed with that and reconstruction or not. So please continue to keep me in your prayers for those decisions. I will be gathering information and reading up on all this, but now can rest and relax until my next appointment November 15.
I am so relieved that I do not have to head down the path of chemo and/or radiation. I am so grateful to all of you for your support and prayers. Those who sent me books and journals, please know that they have been extremely helpful and comforting. I have been able to share in the thoughts and experiences of others who have gone before me, and feel much more confident that I am making well-informed decisions.
My mind is still on those sisters I know who are continuing to fight a more difficult battle than mine. I love you and am praying for you, too.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
A Clear Head
One week past surgery. Most of it I don't even remember. About 2 days ago, I lost the foggy brain and ringing in my ears from the general anesthesia. I'm learning a lot of lessons as the result of trying to do things that I've normally done as I start to feel better. Gotta slow down! Take it easy! Stay on those pain meds!
Wow, and my house is filled with all of these beautiful flowers! Thank you all so much for thinking of me, praying for me, taking time out of your day to write a note, email, text, or send a gift, and to those who have brought food for my family. What a blessing to not have to worry about shopping and fixing meals on top of everything else! A grateful thank you to everyone who has stepped up to keep my girls busy and involved with their normal activities. I am so grateful to my First Baptist family who have prayed, encouraged, trusted and filled in for me while I'm convalescing. To my fellow Heritage Moms who have stepped up to cover my teaching commitments, you are my heroes. Just as Dana Cabral has mentioned before, it is a testament to the quality of people I am privileged to rub shoulders with at Heritage to witness how effortlessly you all step in to stand in the gap. I am overwhelmed with all of your love, feeling very undeserving of it all, but very grateful.
As of today, I am still on a consistent pain relief regime, laying low, staying quiet. Experiencing many strange and unexpected feelings as I heal. The mobility in my arm has been surprisingly good. But I have some cramping in the muscles from time to time. I'd really like to get some exercise, but walking to the post box is about my limit before I start to get light-headed. I'm so glad Marty and my dad have been there to keep me stable.
My post op appointment is scheduled for Monday, Oct 25th, when I find out the results of the sentinel node biopsy. And I am still banned from driving!
The rainy weather is starting to get old. I miss my room with the sun pouring through the windows and giving that golden glow that gives such warmth to the space. Although, today was nice when my mom suggested a fire in the fireplace. I think we should do that again tomorrow.
It's interesting how such challenging events can help us to see just how blessed we really are.
Thanks for traveling this path with me.
Wow, and my house is filled with all of these beautiful flowers! Thank you all so much for thinking of me, praying for me, taking time out of your day to write a note, email, text, or send a gift, and to those who have brought food for my family. What a blessing to not have to worry about shopping and fixing meals on top of everything else! A grateful thank you to everyone who has stepped up to keep my girls busy and involved with their normal activities. I am so grateful to my First Baptist family who have prayed, encouraged, trusted and filled in for me while I'm convalescing. To my fellow Heritage Moms who have stepped up to cover my teaching commitments, you are my heroes. Just as Dana Cabral has mentioned before, it is a testament to the quality of people I am privileged to rub shoulders with at Heritage to witness how effortlessly you all step in to stand in the gap. I am overwhelmed with all of your love, feeling very undeserving of it all, but very grateful.
As of today, I am still on a consistent pain relief regime, laying low, staying quiet. Experiencing many strange and unexpected feelings as I heal. The mobility in my arm has been surprisingly good. But I have some cramping in the muscles from time to time. I'd really like to get some exercise, but walking to the post box is about my limit before I start to get light-headed. I'm so glad Marty and my dad have been there to keep me stable.
My post op appointment is scheduled for Monday, Oct 25th, when I find out the results of the sentinel node biopsy. And I am still banned from driving!
The rainy weather is starting to get old. I miss my room with the sun pouring through the windows and giving that golden glow that gives such warmth to the space. Although, today was nice when my mom suggested a fire in the fireplace. I think we should do that again tomorrow.
It's interesting how such challenging events can help us to see just how blessed we really are.
Thanks for traveling this path with me.
Friday, October 15, 2010
The Steady Recuperation
Firstly, THANK YOU to all of you who have sent flowers, gifts, and an abundance of love to this house. It has been a blessing for each one of us to walk through the house and see all these indications of love and grasp just how much my mom has impacted the people in her life. Thank you for all of your care and compassion.
Now to the update on my mom..
Sleep has definitely been the prevailing activity for my mother over the past two days. All of us have noticed that every time she wakes up she is feeling better. Sleep is a beautiful thing.
On top of showing speedy recovery through simply feeling better, my mom has enjoyed full meals a few times during the day. I don't know a substantial amount of what is good when someone is recovering from a surgery, but I definitely know it is a good sign that my mom is stomaching a nourishing diet. and of course, she's not missing out on soul food thanks to everyone who has brought cookies :)
Please continue to pray that my mom will keep on sleeping, eating, and smiling.
AND that the biopsy will come back benign!
We will be sure to update all of you when we receive the results sometime in the next five days.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. "
Philipians 4:4-7
Now to the update on my mom..
Sleep has definitely been the prevailing activity for my mother over the past two days. All of us have noticed that every time she wakes up she is feeling better. Sleep is a beautiful thing.
On top of showing speedy recovery through simply feeling better, my mom has enjoyed full meals a few times during the day. I don't know a substantial amount of what is good when someone is recovering from a surgery, but I definitely know it is a good sign that my mom is stomaching a nourishing diet. and of course, she's not missing out on soul food thanks to everyone who has brought cookies :)
Please continue to pray that my mom will keep on sleeping, eating, and smiling.
AND that the biopsy will come back benign!
We will be sure to update all of you when we receive the results sometime in the next five days.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. "
Philipians 4:4-7
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Today's Events and Tomorrow's Hope
Today my mom and dad left for the hospital at about 8:30am.
My wonderful grandparents stayed with me and Haley all throughout the day,
taking Haley to classday and making peaceful conversation with the both of
us.
First thing we heard from my mom was that she and my dad were sitting in the
waiting room of the OR. if that's what you call it.
that was about noon.
At roughly.. 1:30pm I received a text from Kirstin (who had driven to the
hospital after she finished classes) saying that the surgery went well and
my mom was in the recovery room.
Praise Jesus.
Anyway, my mom, my dad, and Kirstin are all home now. Please pray for my mom
as she will probably experience a significant amount of discomfort and pain
over the next few days.
Dr. Soballe said that there is a 70% chance that the lymph node will come
back benign. But they will not know for sure until the results come back
sometime next week.
it's 9:24pm and my dad just helped my mom up the stairs to go to bed.
I will never forget the tender love they have shared through all of this.
And I thank God for His shower of blessings upon our family so far.
The journey is not over, but the destination is set.
"But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the
Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory." 2
Corinthians 3:18
My wonderful grandparents stayed with me and Haley all throughout the day,
taking Haley to classday and making peaceful conversation with the both of
us.
First thing we heard from my mom was that she and my dad were sitting in the
waiting room of the OR. if that's what you call it.
that was about noon.
At roughly.. 1:30pm I received a text from Kirstin (who had driven to the
hospital after she finished classes) saying that the surgery went well and
my mom was in the recovery room.
Praise Jesus.
Anyway, my mom, my dad, and Kirstin are all home now. Please pray for my mom
as she will probably experience a significant amount of discomfort and pain
over the next few days.
Dr. Soballe said that there is a 70% chance that the lymph node will come
back benign. But they will not know for sure until the results come back
sometime next week.
it's 9:24pm and my dad just helped my mom up the stairs to go to bed.
I will never forget the tender love they have shared through all of this.
And I thank God for His shower of blessings upon our family so far.
The journey is not over, but the destination is set.
"But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the
Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory." 2
Corinthians 3:18
Monday, October 11, 2010
The Night Before Surgery
Marty and I had a wonderful trip up to Julian yesterday, coming back today. We stayed in a cabin that was a piece of art in itself. We woke up to turkeys and deer! It was a healing and strengthening trip. Thanks Mom and Dad for holding down the fort.
I have received so many texts, messages, cards, phone calls and heart-felt encouragements from so many. They are incredibly powerful for me. Right when I'm beginning to feel a bit discouraged, some message comes my way that says, "I love you," or "Thinking of you," or "Praying for you." They keep me going. I am so grateful for all the love being poured over me.
I am confident that He who began a good work in me, will complete in Christ Jesus.
Marty will let you all know how things go.
The LORD Himself goes before me and is with me. He will never leave me nor forsake me. I will not be afraid. I will not be discouraged.
I have received so many texts, messages, cards, phone calls and heart-felt encouragements from so many. They are incredibly powerful for me. Right when I'm beginning to feel a bit discouraged, some message comes my way that says, "I love you," or "Thinking of you," or "Praying for you." They keep me going. I am so grateful for all the love being poured over me.
I am confident that He who began a good work in me, will complete in Christ Jesus.
Marty will let you all know how things go.
The LORD Himself goes before me and is with me. He will never leave me nor forsake me. I will not be afraid. I will not be discouraged.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Pre-Op Appointment
Got through the morning, okay. Asked lots of questions about meds, anesthesia, and alternative approaches about which I've been reading and learning. I haven't posted anything this last week or so because it has been very agonizing sifting through lots of information on different approaches to dealing with cancer. I'm still struggling with the reality of it all. I guess it will all sink in when I wake up from surgery.
I am glad for the opportunity to learn more about cancer and the many different possibilities on why we get it and how to deal with it. There are many things I need to consider changing in my lifestyle and how I take care of myself, those I love and on whom I have an influence.
Good friends lost their family pet today. Loss has such an impact on us. It makes time stand still. Hopefully, it reminds us of what's important, what really has eternal value.
I am so grateful for all of the cards, notes, texts, phone calls and messages I am receiving from many of you. I wish I could respond to them all. Please know that they make a difference, encourage me and are more important that you may know.
I am glad for the opportunity to learn more about cancer and the many different possibilities on why we get it and how to deal with it. There are many things I need to consider changing in my lifestyle and how I take care of myself, those I love and on whom I have an influence.
Good friends lost their family pet today. Loss has such an impact on us. It makes time stand still. Hopefully, it reminds us of what's important, what really has eternal value.
I am so grateful for all of the cards, notes, texts, phone calls and messages I am receiving from many of you. I wish I could respond to them all. Please know that they make a difference, encourage me and are more important that you may know.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Appointment with Plastic Surgeon
Interesting morning. As Marty and I are heading down the hallway to the Plastics and Wound Care Clinic, I'm thinking to myself, "I am actually making a choice to remove a life-giving part of my body, part of my self, part of what makes me a women, a mother, a lover." Intellectually, I know, that there is something in there, also, that would kill me, that I am an eternal being, confined for the moment in this earthly shell, and that, as Marty said to me, "You are so much more than your body." I'm glad I have a few weeks to come to terms with this choice. This is harder than I ever imagined.
Dr. Salt, my plastic surgeon, agrees with Dr. Soballe's recommendation to do a mastectomy of the left breast, remove the sentinel lymph node and biopsy it, then go from there with the results of the biospy, and that will leave us with many options for reconstruction. I feel confident about that decision.
Thank you, Marty, for your loyalty, strength and devotion to me. You are my faithful warrior and friend.
Thank you, Hannah, for being an amazing first responder. You are a true healer.
Thank you, Mom, for showing what it looks like to be a strong women, and for being available and ready to care for me, still.
Thank you, Dad, for being my life-long protector and greatest advocate.
Thank you, my friends and prayer-warriors. No matter where you are in this world, I need you more than ever.
Reading can be a great source of hope, insight, knowledge, laughter, and encouragement. This is what I read this morning:
Dr. Salt, my plastic surgeon, agrees with Dr. Soballe's recommendation to do a mastectomy of the left breast, remove the sentinel lymph node and biopsy it, then go from there with the results of the biospy, and that will leave us with many options for reconstruction. I feel confident about that decision.
Thank you, Marty, for your loyalty, strength and devotion to me. You are my faithful warrior and friend.
Thank you, Hannah, for being an amazing first responder. You are a true healer.
Thank you, Mom, for showing what it looks like to be a strong women, and for being available and ready to care for me, still.
Thank you, Dad, for being my life-long protector and greatest advocate.
Thank you, my friends and prayer-warriors. No matter where you are in this world, I need you more than ever.
Reading can be a great source of hope, insight, knowledge, laughter, and encouragement. This is what I read this morning:
When we choose to have a grateful heart in not-so-great circumstances--then the peace of God comes and takes us into "protective custody." It stands guard at the door of our heart, transcending, surpassing, and confounding our own human understanding, bringing us peace. ~Joanna Weaver
Monday, September 20, 2010
Surgery is Set
Just returned from the appointment with my surgeon. With a reputation of being very conservative, he recommends a mastectomy of the left and possibly of the right also. There are considerations on both extremes that I have to decide between. Surgery is set for October 12.
Will do the sentinel biopsy during surgery. If positive, that will determine radiation and/or chemo. Pray for a negative biopsy.
Emotionally drained.
Love to you all.
Will do the sentinel biopsy during surgery. If positive, that will determine radiation and/or chemo. Pray for a negative biopsy.
Emotionally drained.
Love to you all.
September 20, 2010
Thanks for your emails. I've had an emotional week and lots of school activities where I've had to get myself squared away and just go. Thankfully, this week has NO class days, and we are home to do school and get ready for my surgery whenever that gets scheduled. I find I'm doing a lot of nesting.
So, last week I got the results back from the genetic testing. The BRCA1 and BRCA2 were both NEGATIVE! We are all very thankful. That just means that the girls are in the probability of the general population for getting breast cancer. No genetic tendency and below 8.6 percent for family history.
The two biopsies came back the same, infiltrating lobular carcinoma. So, that means more than just the spot I found.
Today, we meet with the surgeon for his recommendation. I really have no idea what that will be yet.
Last Thursday, I met with the plastic surgeon, who laid out all those possibilities. I feel quite overwhelmed. Have no idea how to make a decision on which way to go yet. I pray I will just know when it's time, that the Spirit with give me peace.
I wish I felt more brave. I really don't want to do this . . . see now I'm crying again. But, that's okay. It's just how it works.
Love you, my family and friends, and knowing you're there praying for and thinking of me is HUGE.
So, last week I got the results back from the genetic testing. The BRCA1 and BRCA2 were both NEGATIVE! We are all very thankful. That just means that the girls are in the probability of the general population for getting breast cancer. No genetic tendency and below 8.6 percent for family history.
The two biopsies came back the same, infiltrating lobular carcinoma. So, that means more than just the spot I found.
Today, we meet with the surgeon for his recommendation. I really have no idea what that will be yet.
Last Thursday, I met with the plastic surgeon, who laid out all those possibilities. I feel quite overwhelmed. Have no idea how to make a decision on which way to go yet. I pray I will just know when it's time, that the Spirit with give me peace.
I wish I felt more brave. I really don't want to do this . . . see now I'm crying again. But, that's okay. It's just how it works.
Love you, my family and friends, and knowing you're there praying for and thinking of me is HUGE.
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